Connecting one-on-one with your technical experts
Regular one-on-one meetings are a unique opportunity for you to connect with technical experts who report to you. So how do you make the most of these interactions?
The most important connection in the workplace is between a leader or manager and an employee. When this connection is nurtured into a trusting relationship, everybody wins because employees are more likely to follow through on goals set by a manager they trust and to be more forthcoming about the challenges they see on their level.
One on ones are some of the only times that managers are able to connect with employees on a more human level and establish trust. As an employee, it’s good to feel a part of the tribe, listened to and understood, and one-on-ones are the perfect way to foster these feelings and connections within a technical workplace that are usually so task and project orientated.
What’s the difference?
When it’s just the two of you to bounce ideas off and communicate with, naturally you’ll find it’s a more intense conversation. You don’t have the opportunity to sit back and listen like you would in a group setting. You don’t hear what other people think or how they interpret the topic. There’s less time for the listener to mull over their responses or listen to other people’s ideas. There’s less time for the listener or the speaker to stop and think before responding, which leads to more authentic and natural reactions.
These instinctual responses can be positive if you’re delivering good feedback or building a relationship. However, in challenging or negative scenarios, such as delivering bad feedback, the same authentic responses can have a negative effect. Even with neutral information, someone who is a reflector (someone who likes to receive information and mull over it before considering their response), one-on-ones can be a stressful interaction where they feel pressured to respond before they feel ready.
Why one-on-ones matter
Team leaders often feel that they know how their team is doing and dismiss the need to have regular one-on-one sessions. While it frees up time in their diary, it clearly highlights the leader’s failure to recognise the individuals that make up their team.
One-on-ones are the only opportunity for a leader to meet the individual-related needs of their employees e.g. personal development, mental health. Checking in regularly (weekly, fortnightly or monthly, whatever suits your team culture) to recognise changes on an individual level is like checking the oil in your car. The human connection that is fostered in one-on-ones helps you to track or pre-empt changes in motivation, engagement and performance so you can take prompt action.
Making one-on-one communication effective
Here are a few tips to make sure that you’re getting the most out of one-on-one conversations.
When you first begin one-on-ones, check-in and ask your expert what the value of a one-on-one is to them. Ask them questions like “how would you like to catch up”, “would you rather we walked and talked or caught up on the phone”. From here, you’ll be able to gain a sense of what kind of communicator they are and adapt your conversations to suit.
Switch it up! Sometimes one-on-ones are better in an informal setting, like going for a walk or getting a coffee. Moving and being in a neutral space often helps people to be more comfortable and encourages conversations to flow.
Before your meeting, be clear what the purpose of your one-on-one is going to be. These interactions can sometimes come across as intimidating, especially when your expert doesn’t know what to expect. Simply putting a sentence in a meeting invitation to clarify or an agenda in an email gives everyone the opportunity to come prepared.
If your one-on-one is going to be challenging and potentially confrontational, speak in a non-aggressive way. For example, saying things like ‘I feel’ compared with ‘you do this’ helps to make sure no one feels personally accused.
Ask questions. If you’re running a one-on-one, 60% of the conversation should consist of you speaking and 40% listening.
Be open to receiving more information. Your interpretation of a situation may not be the full account so be prepared to listen actively to the other person’s version of the story.
Is it working?
Here are a few tell-tale signs to help you gauge where how your one-on-one sessions are going:
The energy in the room. When you meet or catch up, your employee should feel comfortable to talk about what’s on their mind.
Your expert comes prepared and has things to share with you. This shows that he/she is thinking about these conversations and finds them valuable.
Your expert takes action after your one-on-one meetings. A sign of an effective conversation is when your expert actively follows up and does something about what you discussed.
You get constructive answers when you ask “is this still working for you?” or “is there anything we can change to make them work better for you?”.
You’re reliable, prepared and punctual when showing up to one-on-ones. As a Manager, it can be really easy to prioritise workload over a one-on-one. But your experts interpret from this that they are a low priority. If you really have to cancel, you’ll give a good reason for it.
